I am a 22 you male virgin who has never had a girkfriend. I worry that this is a bad thing and will only lead to rejection when found out. I had a troubled start to life and when most people my age where starting to become sexaul active I was developing depression and anxiety. My mental health has improved greatly and I have a good job but I still feel like my lack of experience will be a instant turn off. I never had affection as a child soo sex is only secondary to me. I'm looking for love and companionship. Can you help?
I totally understand why you feel nervous.
I know that you are a wonderful guy.
Think about the meaning of the word "consummate" as in to consummate a relationship.
It means to bring to completion.
I know this is a very antiquated idea but we are truly meant to form a relationship first. That relationship is supposed to be based on authenticity and honesty. In the soil of a true heart connection, you will share your story with your partner. And the right partner will understand and love you and understand why you've waited.
Believe it or not, the right partner will actually love you virgin and all, because your virginity is part of who you are.
James, if you read my story, as presented in my latest book Love Never Dies, you'll see that my husband was a virgin until he was much older than you. Why? Because he was a Jesuit priest for most of his life. So, as you can see, being a virgin was part of his story.
The moral of this story is accept yourself. If you are comfortable in your own skin, and that includes your foreskin :), you will be accepted.
But if you pass judgment on yourself and send out the vibe that someone will not like or accept you, then that's the kind of response you will receive from others.
Others merely mirror back what we ourselves feel about ourselves.
The real point here is we need to raise your self-esteem before we think about trying to raise the flag!
If you want me to help you feel more comfortable about yourself, we can always talk privately through my private consulting division.
Don't hang your head (and that includes your little head too :)) in shame.
You are perfect just as you are.
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