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Advice Archives Search

Welcome to Dr. Turndorf's Advice Archives, the web's first searchable dating, relationship and sex advice database since 1995.

Start by searching my Advice Archives, which contain thousands of answers to questions like yours. Reading what I have told others who are struggling with issues that are similar to yours will help you to heal and grow.The Archives contain thousands of Dr. Turndorf's answers to the dating,relationship and sex questions that Dr. Turndorf has received over the

Search your topic of concern, and learn, heal and grow as you read answers to questions just like yours.

Question: Boyfriend Cheated on Me. What Should I Do?

I was very upset in reading your letter. I know you’ve asked me for advice about him. But I’m more concerned about you! You were depressed before he came on the scene. He’s been a temporary drug that lifted your spirits. When you fell into this... read more

Question: Very Troubled

You are very brave to take the stand that you have taken--that you won't see him until there are divorce papers in hand. The thing that makes you love him is his devotion. It is that very trait that has impinged on your relationship since, his... read more

Question: I Don't Want to Fight All the Time

This is a very important question. Chronic fighting does erode a relationship, so we need to help you both learn how to discuss your difficult issues. My new Hay House book called Kiss Your Fights Good-bye: Dr. Love's 10 Simple Steps... read more

Question: Getting Over His Past

Fighting with him over his past is like repeatedly beating a dog for having torn up your photo album. The damage is done and you can’t put the pictures back together.

Likewise, what your guy has done can’t be undone; the baby that he... read more

Question: How Do I Deal with a Lazy Girlfriend?

I understand your frustration.

Have you ever the saying, “How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?” Answer: “One, but the light bulb really has to want to change.” Get it?

You’re asking me how to change her.

... read more
Question: A Dirty Little Secret!!!!!

I felt sick reading your letter.

The thing that makes me the most distressed is your pattern of returning to an abusive partner.

Re-read the letter imagining that you were reading about your own daughter. Read about how your... read more

Question: Change of Heart

I am very sorry to hear about your broken foot and heart. Life is so very hard.

It sounds like you just want to understand where the relationship went wrong. I understand why you need this. In order to move forward, we all need to make... read more

Question: Awaiting My Next Love...or is it already here?

What a sweetheart you are. You do, indeed, have an open heart.  The way you opened your heart to me and shared your love is beyond beautiful. I can only imagine the kind of partner you are. In fact, I have the sense that you give your generous... read more

Question: Girlfriend Cheated on Me with a Lesbian

I’m so sorry to hear what you’re being put through.  

I noticed that you didn’t say that you felt her foray into lesbian territory is driven by a genuine need to determine if she’s bi-sexual or not.

On the contrary, you said that... read more

Question: Getting Ex Back

I’m sorry to hear about your break-up.

In reading the details leading up to the break-up, what comes across is the fact that he felt drained by the negativity. It sounds like you were using him to buoy you up. When his attempts to lift you... read more