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Advice Archives Search

Welcome to Dr. Turndorf's Advice Archives, the web's first searchable dating, relationship and sex advice database since 1995.

Start by searching my Advice Archives, which contain thousands of answers to questions like yours. Reading what I have told others who are struggling with issues that are similar to yours will help you to heal and grow.The Archives contain thousands of Dr. Turndorf's answers to the dating,relationship and sex questions that Dr. Turndorf has received over the

Search your topic of concern, and learn, heal and grow as you read answers to questions just like yours.

Question: Stuck in the Past

It sounds like you got addicted to the rollercoaster ride with Mark. Despite all the ways that he hurt and degraded you, the make-up was such a high that you are yearning for another hit. You said very clearly that after he messed up he would do... read more

Question: Anal Sex Issue

I am very alarmed in reading your letter. It sounds as though you are allowing yourself to be violated by your partner. First of all, you said that you're having anal sex for 5 to 7 hours at a time. Are you... read more

Question: Man Who is Repulsed by Female Genitals

You were very brave to ask this question.

This is a very hard question to answer without my knowing a lot more about you and your early history, because the attitudes that we form about sex always trace back to our early life. So, my... read more

Question: Wife of an Out of Work Husband

I can see why you are upset. You have a situational problem (your husband being out of work) and a more deep-seated character problem on your hands. I have the impression that your husband is depressed, and depression is usually caused by anger... read more

Question: Torn Between Two Lovers

You are in a bind. Let's break this down. A month after Rania said that she wanted to stay friends, you fell madly in love with her best friend. Now that you are with someone else, Rania wants you. As a result, you are torn between your... read more

Question: Why My Head and Heart Do Not Match

If I understand your question, you are experiencing an internal conflict. Conflict arises when different parts of the self are at war with each other.

To help you understand what's going on, I'd like you to imagine your brain or psyche as... read more

Question: Starving for Wife after Hysterectomy

If you can’t go to a hotel, you could eat lots of beans and then get in the bath and hope that a serious case of flatulence will simulate the Jacuzzi bubbles! 

Seriously, you sound like a darling... read more

Question: Always Attracting Ambivalence

I hear your despair. I was talking with a new group patient, a woman who said she’s so tired of all the work she’s done in therapy with previous therapists and still she’s not healed.

I can’t tell you how many people have... read more

Question: How Young is Too Young?

Your question reminds me of a bit that I heard on Car Talk.

A man calls in and asks about his girlfriend's car. He then says, 'I'm really not calling about the car. I'm calling to say that my girlfriend is quite a bit younger than I am and... read more

Question: Lady in Love With Older Man Who Has Cold Feet

You asked me if you should pursue this relationship. You really need to ask your lover this question. (Should I feel like giving up on us. Is that what you want me to feel?). In answer to your other question, yes, a relationship with a large age... read more