I Fall Too Quickly

In answer to your question are you scaring these fab guys off, I’ll answer your question with another question: Do bears go poo poo in the forest?

Even if you are the world’s greatest psychic and know immediately that a guy is right for you, you have to button your lip and not let him know this after the second date. Doing so puts the fear of God into a man and sends him running faster than Evans Rutto.

The game to which you are referring—when you ignore a text and a guy comes closer—is really not a game on a man’s part. I see it as more like the guy feels less afraid of being smothered (see the question in this weeks columns entitled, Together but Not Together) by you, which enables him to come forward again.  

There’s a larger issue here that concerns me. I’m referring to your saying that you fall in love so easily and quickly. It sounds like you’re falling on the first date if you’re already telling the guy that you’re in love with him on the second date.

From what you say, your falling in love apparently happens to you frequently.

The thing is you can’t possibly fall in love that fast. You can have a crush or a feeling of lust, but love takes time to develop.

I think you need to have a look at why you feel like you’re falling so fast. I suspect that you are feeling emotionally hungry or needy. You know how it’s said you should never go shopping when you’re hungry because you buy the entire store. Well, I’ll extend the analogy to you and dating. If you go dating when you’re emotionally hungry you are going to fall for every guy who comes into your path.

Study why you’re so hungry. Yes I did hear that you’re ready to settle down, but I think there’s a deeper reason. Oftentimes when we didn’t receive the right kind of feeding when we were young, we end up feeling starved and hungry for love as adults.

Figure out where the real hunger comes from and feed/re-parent yourself. When you are healed, you will not be so quick to bite, and every date won’t become love bate!

As an added bonus, men will be more drawn to you when you aren’t so hungry. This won’t be a game of avoiding texts in order to lure them into your trap. You simply will magnetize men by your lack of need and hunger. Then you will get to take your time and choose which prize fish you want to reel in.