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He's Loved Her From Afar for Two Years

Submitted by jamie on Fri, 06/03/2011 - 9:12pm
in
June 3, 2011

Question

There is a female I have wanted to talk to for almost 2 years but my friend refuses to set me up with her. So this past week, I was finally paired up with her in his wedding party as a groomsman and a bridesmaid. I believe our chemistry was fantastic and our friends can see this clearly, however, she has been dating this guy from my understanding for about 3 or 4 months, however, I heard she knew him from high school, supposedly. I met her boyfriend at the wedding and honestly I can tell right away he is no good for her. He sat there the whole time with no emotion or personality from what I gathered. During the reception, she caught the bouquet and I caught the garter. Since that day, I can't get her out of my mind. She friended me on facebook and in return, I gave her my cell phone number via Facebook e-mail. 

I can't describe it, and I can't explain it either, but I really believe she is the "one." If given the opportunity I genuinely believe I can be the one she has been looking for. How can I win her over to be my girlfriend and to leave this guy? Please help me. I would be forever greatful! Thanks Dr. Love and be well always.


Answer

What a romantic story! You have two clear choices and the one you take will be determined by your own style and personality as well as what you sense is her own style and personality.

Here are the options: You can go for broke, open your heart to her and tell her exactly what you told me, and I mean everything. Tell her you've been drawn to her for years, tell her how you feel about her, etc. Or you can go about the task of winning her in a more patient and subtle way: be her friend, get to know her, let her know you and allow fate to take its course.

The fact that you waited for two years makes me think you may be shy and therefore option one may be too out of your comfort zone. You need to be comfortable in all that you say and do.

As for what's comfortable for her. Since you are clearly a man who is quite intuitive, does your heart tell you which of the two approaches would be best for her? If you think that she would be won over by the first approach, then trustMutual trust is a shared belief that you can depend on each other to achieve a common purpose. More comprehensively trust defined as "the willingness of a party (trustor) to be vulnerable to the...(Click for full definition.) your instincts, override your fear and go for it. If you sense that the slow, steady approach would win her heart, then go for that.

What do you have to lose? By doing nothing, you lose her for sure.

Let me know what happens. Promise!

- Doctor Love

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