HELP - I Love My Surgeon!

Dr. Love,

I have sought out the advice of a good number of people about this problem  but I am still at a complete loss for what to do. I am a 27 year old female and can confidently say I am in love with my surgeon. I should mention now 

that he is 40. I felt an immediate attraction to him before I knew he was my doctor. I met him briefly in an elevator in the hospital a few hours before my initial consult and it was one of those rare moments when you are left speechless at the time but are dying to find a way to talk to the person or find a way to get to know them. When I realized he was my doctor I was extremely frustrated. I'm fully aware of the Nightingale effect and I truly feel this is not the case.

It's hard to put into words exactly what first attracted me. I am not attracted to many men I meet. I pass people occasionally that catch my eye, but this is COMPLETELY different. From the moment I saw him I just felt a warmness. I could tell the feeling was partly mutual (to what extent I'm unsure) because he seemed caught off guard but not uncomfortable. We caught eyes and both of us had a hard time looking away from one another. When he realized I was his patient we both spent the first part of my consult stammering through sentences until we calmed down a bit. Then it was very easy going and has been throughout the past 7 months. He has performed 2 surgeries on me since that period. For the first 6 months I did everything I could mentally to ignore my feelings, although they never died down and I  became more aware that it is definitely a mutual attraction. It's not only a sexual attraction but it is that strong physical attraction where you can tell both people simply love the act of being around one another. He's NEVER been unprofessional, but I can tell he looks for ways to keep chatting after an appointment or to hold my gaze. I'm fully aware of when he looks at more than my face and is checking out the rest of me. He's not inappropriate about it but I can tell when he's trying not to stare at my lips or takes a quick glance at my chest or neck. Again, I've NEVER felt the least bit uncomfortable and he truly is a professional - it is just a lot of tension in the room and it's hard to hide.

I am beyond frustrated because while I know 27 is not the end of my life, I have yet to find someone I am so deeply attracted to and want to be near both mentally and physically. I know it is somewhat mutual because he goes out of his way to ask me about my studies (I'm a graduate student), will ask me about authors I like, trips I've been on, and has had other questions.  He's very quick and brief with any other patient I've seen him with. I can tell his PA recognizes his behavior as somewhat out of character but it's obviously not sleezy, either.

Here is where I have created a mess -- I recently broke down (the last week of May) and wrote him a letter in confidentiality about my feelings. It wasn't sexually explicit at all or unwarranted. It was just deeply honest, 

simple, but still very personal. I made sure I got the point across. I know he is not married, although I have not asked if he is in a relationship or not. All I know for sure is that this is an attraction you only feel ONCE in a great while, if EVER. I would feel this way even if he was not wearing his white coat and standing in front of me with a clipboard. I wouldn't care if he was the town garbage man. I would still feel that way. It frustrates me to no end. I have seen and met with him since this letter but I know this question is already long and before I continue with the story I want to make sure it is of interest to you. I would be BEYOND appreciative for your input and will answer any other questions you have. I'm truly upset...

Thank you Dr. Love!